I've figured it out

I am a big fan of ABC's Lost. Not one of the biggest fans by any stretch of the imagination (evidenced by the fact that I talk about things other than Lost on this blog), but big enough to care and watch and theorize.

And after last night's episode (don't worry, Jon, no spoilers here), which left me once again with more questions than answers, I have finally come up with an overall theory for the show: It's an elaborate religious infomercial. I'm not entirely sure which religion it's advertising, yet, but with the mix between sci-fi and spiritualism, my best candidate right now is Scientology.

It's the perfect set-up. Have you ever heard a sermon that started out with the most bizarre and unrelated illustration, and you sat there asking yourself, "What does that have to do with anything?" But, when the pastor reached the end of the sermon, suddenly everything fell into place, and you realized, "THAT'S why he told the story about the crocodile and the hammer without a handle!" And then he gives the altar call, and several people rush forward, finally coming to terms with their own crocodiles and ready to give up the hammers without handles in their own lives. Or maybe it's more like when Nancy Drew FINALLY realizes that the schoolyard vandal case she has been working on is actually THE EXACT SAME CASE as the city-wide prowler case that her father has been working on.

So we'll all watch, mesmerized, for several seasons, and then, at the end of it all, everything will come together perfectly, and the answer will be: Scientology! And there will be a big nationwide altar call, and we'll all give up our anti-depressants and begin to worship L. Ron Hubbard and boycott South Park.

Okay, fine. It's a ridiculous theory. But is your theory really any less of a stretch?