We've had her home for eight nights now, one of which went pretty well, and seven of which were killer. Other babies in my August babies forum are sleeping for four or five hour stretches at night, and it just seems so impossible to me that it almost makes me laugh. Almost. Valerie needs to eat every 30-60 minutes all night, and once the nursing, burping, and usually diaper change are all done, I might get five minutes to sleep before the cycle starts all over again. Let me tell you, nights are very dark for me.
But, the sun comes up eventually, and sometimes she lets me take a two-hour nap in the late morning, and then I somehow have some energy again, and it seems like I just might survive this motherhood thing. Maybe.
Saturday night was her one good night - she let me sleep for over two hours, not once, but TWICE during the night. I was really grateful for this, because I had hoped to be able to take her to church this week, and I actually was able to. I really enjoyed having my little family at church, even if we did need to sneak out of the service twice to nurse and twice to change diapers. She loved the singing, which didn't surprise me, since she loved it when I was pregnant with her. I'm wondering if I'll be able to play the djembe with her in the sling... she always loved my drumming in the womb.
Today was not too hot or humid, so I took her outside for a few minutes to get some fresh air and vitamin D. She didn't quite know what to make of the great outdoors - she gaped rather oddly throughout the whole affair. I hope this nice weather holds so we can go outside more often.
I know this stage of her life is temporary. I know that, as hard as it is right now, eventually, she will let me sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time. I know that I will carry fond memories of the little squeaking noises she makes while nursing, and the first time that she turned to find the source of my voice when someone else was holding her and she heard me talking. So I'm taking lots of pictures, and taking each day at a time. Because really, what else can I do? I'm a mama, now. And I wouldn't give her back for all the world.
First sponge bath at home (8 days old)
First time in church (12 days old)
We spend a lot of time in this position (12 days old)
First time in the sunshine (2 weeks old)
More pictures on Flickr.
2 comments:
Knowing that eventually things will get better doesn't always help when you're in the middle of it. Embrace your zombie-mommy self, you will become as obsessed with sleeping as you are with feeding. Seriously, all I could think about for five months was sleeping. Thinking about sleeping somehow isn't quite as good as actually doing it.
Hey Jule Ann! Go, Mama, go! :D I am in such admiration of you.....I don't know if I'll be able to do it with such faith as you (but I have a few years before I plan to be a Mama)....
...you and Val are certainly an inspiration. :)
Lots of hugs,
J.
P.S. Happy 2-weeks, Valerie ;)
Post a Comment