Monday, August 07, 2006

A Little Bit Whiny

When day camp ended a week and a half ago, I thought, great, now I'll have free time, and can be a good blogger again. But it's still summer, and I have to pack an entire summer's worth of fun into one month! I may not be working two jobs anymore, but I am a pretty busy girl. And my husband is still sick, so I spend a lot of my spare time worrying about him, rather than blogging, since blogging about being worried makes for a depressing blog.

So, briefly, without elaborating too much on how much the whole situation is stressing me out, here is the update on Jer's condition. He finished the second course of antibiotics, which seemed to be doing next to nothing near the end anyhow. The specialist (the fourth doctor we've seen since this whole thing began) informed us that whatever was wrong at first is no longer wrong (if it ever was, which I am beginning to doubt as I look back over the ER doctor's original notes), and the problem is something else. She gave him more drugs and no real answers and told him to get an MRI and make an appointment with a neuro-surgeon. This is a pretty scary suggestion to me, because "neuro-surgeon" brings up images of sunken-eyed, bald children with bandages all over their heads. But apparently Jeremy has a common spinal cord problem that could be causing these symptoms. Then, today, his toe became swollen, and his family doctor suggested that we might be adding gout to the list of problems he is having. Month four of this illness is shaping up to be the most eventful and troublesome so far.

Over a month ago, I booked this weekend off of work. I thought that my husband and I could go camping or to the shore or something, since we hadn't really had any quality time together since the illness began. As August crept upon us, and Jeremy got worse instead of better, I started trying to make alternate plans. In the end, I just gave up and kept myself entertained while Jeremy slept uncomfortably through most of the weekend.

But, preoccupation with a mysteriously sick husband aside, I managed to have a pretty good time this weekend. Sometimes it helps to put your worry aside and just have fun, remembering that you can't worry yourself a longer life. The weekend started with a bit of good news, when my store manager called me up and offered me a promotion. I'm really happy about this, and I'll be starting my shift leader training tomorrow. Then, I whipped up a batch of chili and a few of our friends came by for dinner and board games on Friday night. Jer was even able to sit and play with us for a little while before he had to lie down again.

The nasty, unbearable heat wave we have been having broke on Friday, too, which worked out perfectly, since I had been hoping to make it to the shore this weekend. Saturday was a perfect day for the beach, so a friend and I started out at about 10 am, armed with sunscreen and beach blankets, for Ocean City, NJ. It should have taken us about an hour to get there from my friend's house, but apparently everyone else in Philadelphia had the same idea we did, and the traffic managed to stretch the trip out to two hours. We fared better than the other two friends we were meeting there, however, who were coming from about 30 minutes further away and were delayed by two hours longer. Poor Brian, who had to work that night, had to turn around and drive right back home within five minutes of arriving. The rest of us had a good time, however, and I only got a little bit sunburned.

Sunday morning, I went to church, and after the service, went out for lunch with some church friends. We had a nice visit, and I even managed to persuade one of them to go to an open house with me at a home near the church that is for sale. It was fun to dream, but the house was about three times what I would like to pay for a home when we do finally get our lives in enough order to make the second biggest purchase of our lives (the first, of course, being our collective educations). I thanked my friend for her company, then headed home, stopping at another, slightly more feasibly-priced but still out of my league, house a few blocks from where we are currently living. Fantasy house-hunting had the opposite effect that I had hoped it would, however, because in spite of confident reassurances from both realtors that lenders have all kinds of programs for first-time home-buyers, I came home to my sick husband and the bubble burst. I know in my head that this is just for a season, that he will eventually be better, but sometimes, I have a hard time imagining him being healthy and back to work and us being a normal couple with a house and a garden and a mini-van and kids. I was dwelling unhealthily on the negative, so, I ditched my bad attitude, visited another church for their Sunday evening service, and spent the rest of the evening playing old school arcade games at a friend's house. So, all in all, a bit of a roller coaster weekend, but I am trying to focus on the positive. I got a promotion, I had a great time at the beach, the weather has been beautiful, and I spent a lot of time visiting with friends. We have a place to stay, family that loves us, and friends who care for us. I know I have it pretty good, and I'm trying to suppress my inner whiny brat. Thanks for putting up with me.

P.S. Judging by the responses I've been getting to my last post, it appears that I have forgotten, once again, that tone doesn't always translate well to print. I wasn't offended by that comment. I posted it here because I thought it was clever, creative, and really, really funny. But maybe you had to be there.

1 comment:

twilighttreader said...

Ewwww minivans...