A Story for Mike

Have you ever noticed how people tend to read the words on your t-shirt out loud to you? I'm not sure why they do it. Perhaps to confirm that they have read the slogan correctly, or perhaps to demonstrate their stellar reading abilities, or perhaps to verify that you are, indeed, aware that there is a message on your clothing, visible for all the world to see.

When I was in high school, I found a way to exploit this strange phenomenon. I made a t-shirt that said, "Will you marry me?" on the back of it. That way, when people would walk by and read my shirt out loud to me, I could turn around with an excited smile on my face and jubilantly accept their proposal. It really freaked people out, which was, of course, the intent. What can I say, psychological manipulation has long been a hobby of mine.

I don't have the t-shirt anymore. My sister borrowed it when she was in college, where it could serve the dual purpose of freaking people out while at the same time underscoring the occasionally unhealthy obsession that some students there had with finding the perfect mate. With such a higher calling awaiting it at Houghton, I bid my t-shirt goodbye. I hope it brought two lonely people together and that their marriage has been filled with sunshine. (Aw, who am I kidding. I hope it caused a lot of trouble and messed with a lot of people's heads.)