Sunday, December 09, 2012

Excerpt from one of the most entertaining car rides in recent history

V: Can we get some decorations like that and put them up in front of our house?
JA: Well, we don't really have a yard, and our house isn't on a road, so no one would see them. Maybe when we get another house, we can get one with a yard on a street and put up some fun Christmas decorations.
V: All I want when we get a new house is a kitten, and a grown-up cat, and a puppy, and a grown-up dog. And a goldfish. But not a zebra fish, because they are poison, and I don't want it to poison my goldfish. Did you know that zebra fish can kill sharks? But not in Kenya, there are no sharks in Kenya. Do you know why there are no sharks in Kenya?
JA: Because there are no oceans?
V: No, because the dolphins in Kenya are braver than the sharks.
JA: Ah, of course.
V: Aren't you glad I know so much about Kenya?
JA: Yes, very glad.
V: Do you want me to tell you more things about Kenya?
JA: Definitely.
V: Well, the people on the left side of Kenya have dreams about zombies. And the people on the - which side did I just do?
JA: Left side.
V: And the people on the right side dream about butterflies. But sometimes the people on the left side, dream about butterflies, to kill the zombies.
JA: Butterflies kill zombies?
V: Yes, if they are grown-up butterflies. But grown-up zombies kill butterflies. Hey! I just cut my own fingernail! Isn't that great that I cut my own fingernail?
JA: How did you cut it? With your teeth?
V: No, with my finger! Did I just do a miracle?
JA: I don't know that I would call that a miracle...
V: I just remembered one more pet I want to have when we get a bigger house.
JA: I don't know, you already want five pets. You'll have to feed them all, and take care of them all, and that's going to be a lot of work.
V: Just ONE more pet! A chameleon. Actually, a whole family of chameleons.

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