- Have the right to order an appetizer or dessert. Don't look at me like that; I know how many calories are in your beer.
- Will factor imaginary drinks into my bill when calculating my tip. It's not the waitress' fault I didn't order expensive drinks.
- Will have just as much fun as everyone else is having. (I'll just remember more and regret slightly less of it.)
- Have the right to excuse at least one stupid stunt per evening out, blaming it on the fact that I was like, so totally sober, man.
- Will sing karaoke just as badly as everyone else.
- Have the right to point out, at least once, how much cheaper my cranberry juice is without the vodka in it.
- Will drive you home, or let you sleep on my couch if necessary. I may even steal your keys and call you a cab; I'm sure you'll forgive me eventually.
- Will volunteer to work the opening shift on New Year's Day.
Monday, December 04, 2006
Non-Drinker's Charter of Rights and Responsibilities
As a non-drinker, I...